Bless your heart, tramp!

(this picture is a little hard to make out- but its one of my favorites... it was taken in PCB for the Yankees reading this that stands for Panama City Beach, FL - the Redneck Riviera and one of my favorite places to go. The picture is NOT me- some girl I don't know- but it says "GRITS" again for the Yankees- that means "girls raised in the south". Beneath it are 3 cherries within each is the rebel flag... welcome to the south! LOL!)

Bless you heart, Tramp.... This is a title of a silly book that I picked up over Christmas after a conversation with my "Yankee" sister-in-law, Suzanne. She pointed out to me that Southerners are fake because we southern woman (YES I consider myself a southerner) feel we can get away with the most awful insult as long as we preface it with "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart". For example "Bless her heart, she's as dumb as a box of rocks" or "Bless his heart, he couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag". This really made me laugh of course because ... well... it's true. I can't count how many times I've heard myself say this. I guess being a "proper southern Christain woman" you must bless the heart because then the insult just doesn't seem so bad, right?! LOL! But come on as Celia Rivenbark puts it in her book, This "making fun" comes from folks who think the "family silver" refers to the large medallion around Uncle Vinnie's neck.

Suzanne and I like to make fun of each other about this. In fact, can you believe it, she says that until her first time to Georgia (which was probably 6 years ago) she never knew we (southerners) refered to 'them' as Yankees!? We do... and its not meant to be an insult (most of the time- unless for example you say "I wish these Damn Yankees would just go back North). Suzanne would never utter such words as "ya'll", "right close", "fixin' to"... and I'd never say things like wutter (translation- water), hooowse (translation- house), neow (translation- now) and the worst- Go Eagles or Go Yankees (gives me the shivers just thinking about it!)

As I mentioned in my last post, Suzanne and Kevin came to Georgia in the spring of 2006 for a family vacation. Chip and I along with my folks headed to Savannah for the HUGE St. Patricks day parade and party. We drove from Atlanta to Savannah via I-16 and made a stop in the "one stop light" town Cochran (where we lived in the late 80's early 90's). Now THIS place is true small town Georgia. I think the entire drive her mouth was open... The parade and party on River Street was Great (here is a picture of us).

The next day we headed back to Atlanta for the NASCAR race. Now if you think racing is a silly sport- please go to a race. It'll change your mind. This, in my opinion, is one of the BEST all American sports and family events out there. Where else can you arrive for a 1pm race at 6am- cook out and drink beer- and not be alone. In fact it's encouraged! You can even bring in your own coolers of Coke or beer and your own food - so you don't have to spend money. Before the race you can walk around and even get autographs and pictures with the drivers. Really it's a great sport. Anyhow- back to my story. This was a pretty chilly day in Atlanta I'd say 40 something and raining. And look what walks by... not helping my case about how wonderful the south is- this just played into the stereotype!
And just a few more pictures from the race just because:

Later that morning Suzanne tried her very first corn dog (she loved it). I am still not without hope that she will love the south (I even tried getting her to watch the greatest southern movie of all time... Gone with the wind- but she fell asleep during the part Where Ashley Wilkes is talking about how terrible the Yankees are) and one day want to live here.

So in closing here are some tips I found for a Yankee moving to the south:

-Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

-Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive. (example: Do ya'll want to keep ya'lls forks for ya'llses' peach cobbler)

-There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent (unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent- sorry Chip).

-Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

-People walk slower here

-Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

-The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck"or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

-Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

-The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

-If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

-Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

-If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

-Refer to EVERY soft drink as a Coke (Atlanta is home of Coca Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink.)

-"Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss". So is "Honey".

Ya'll Come Back Now, Ya hear?

ps- this is all in good fun- you know how much I love all my Yankee family and friends!!! (heck, technically I am one)